The Intimacy Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings tremendous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in go to my blog to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and nearness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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