The Sexuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the you can find out more opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, closeness, well-being, and love .

But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They probably would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that many of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urbane areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a moved here relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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